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Apr 22 2018, 08:31 AM
4/20/2018 GAME DAY RECAP

The Doctor & Venus review game 3 of the LFL regular season between the Los Angeles Blackout and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Game 3 has come and gone and unfortunately this one was nothing at all to write home about. This was a 35 point blowout with Angie Vaughn and Milisandre Crowthorne bookending the only points that would be scored by the Hit Girls. Angie put up 3 in the first quarter and Mili broke loose for a 5 yard touchdown to show a bit of effort at the end on the offense.

VENUS FLYTRAP: I have been saying this since last season…FIRE KENZI GREY! No matter which way you slice it up jack, this is all on her shoulders! Everybody knew she got hurt at the end of the last game and everybody knew she shouldn’t have played, yet SOME HOW she managed to get herself cleared, just so she could toss two interceptions and scramble for -22 yards! The General Manager, Sidney Grey talked about benching her before the game, but apparently Kenzi can just decide she’s not leaving the game!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I don’t think that is the case at all Venus. Kenzi got cleared by the LFL to play and she had a bad game. It wasn’t the only bad game that was played on Friday, but yes, it was one of the most glaring. Maybe instead of focusing on what Kenzi did wrong, we should focus on what she did right? She showed heart by staying in the game and leading the team through all 4 quarters when she could have just quit.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Correction; SHOULD have just quit! Let’s not beat around the damn bush here, the only reason she still has the starting position on this team is because she is married to the majority owner, which means we are stuck with her because any other team would have cut her months ago!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I know that you and the rest of the Cincy fans are upset with the fact that this team that has so much talent is just not winning, but the fact of the matter is that it takes time to figure this game out. Many of these players still don’t have a grasp on all the rules. Look no further than the mounting penalties that the girls have collected over the past 3 games. It’s clear that Kenzi isn’t the only issue here.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Penalties! Yeah, let’s talk about that! Last week we got screwed at the end of the game by a phantom penalty that was called on Roxy Cotton, hashtag the best damn wide receiver in the LFL! In this game, she comes out and has to play soft because the referees are all over her like a cheap suit! Our leading receiver can’t be getting handcuffed like that!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Roxy’s penalty was justified and she was fined for it, so let’s not revisit that again. Yes, Roxy was forced to play soft this game for fear of another penalty that might cost her a suspension, but she is going to have to just play her game, while being careful and staying within the rules.

VENUS FLYTRAP: NO! Roxy needs be Roxy and the referees need to save the laundry for their wives! People are paying to see the girls out there on the field playing hard, not flags being thrown left and right for 60 minutes!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Everyone is entitled to an opinion I guess. With that, Cincy falls even further behind in the division with a trip to Hawaii looming. Until next time, I am The Doctor…

VENUS FLYTRAP: …and I’m Venus…

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see you on the next Game Day when Cincy visits the Havok! See you then!
Apr 14 2018, 08:42 AM
4/13/2018 GAME DAY RECAP

The Doctor & Venus review game 1 of the LFL regular season between the Los Angeles Stars and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Game 2 is in the books and it was Cincy visiting the team that is quickly becoming the bane of the Hit Girls, the LA Stars. This game was another classic in this divisional rivalry, yet again decided by a single score. The first quarter was a defensive struggle that saw the Stars go up by a field goal. In the second quarter the Stars pulled ahead, going up 17 to 6 as Cincy relied on the kicking of Angie Vaughn to stay in the game. After halftime, Cincy came out firing and Kenzi Lacklan connected with Trixie for a touchdown and a successful 2-point conversion attempt that was called by Generic Heel to pull within 3 points. The fourth quarter was a shootout as both teams traded touchdowns with two from the Stars and Kenzi hitting the dependable Sativa Nevaeh for a score and Milisandre Crowthorne continuing her brilliant running this season as she broke loose for a 20 yard run to pay dirt with 1:15 left on the clock.

VENUS FLYTRAP: The Stars were looking to dink and dunk to run out the clock, but once again Angie Vaughn stepped up big and snatched down the second of her two interceptions which put the Hit Girls back in business, though deep in their own territory. Of course, who do you call when you need a big play to get you back on top? #69 Roxy Cotton! Roxy caught a lame duck 51 pass from Kenzi that put them on the Star’s side of the field. Hit Girls’ Stadium was rocking and it looked like they were about to pull it off. Coach did the right thing and dialed up Roxy’s number again and of course she was money as she made a beautiful catch at the pylon for the go-ahead score. Everyone thought that was the game, until she was unjustly flagged for offensive pass interference for a phantom punch that got her the separation she needed to make the catch!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I’m not so sure it was a ‘phantom’ punch, the replay was clear. Regardless, that moved Cincy well out of field goal range and with seconds left to try to cash in, the Hit Girls made a final push. Sativa made a tough catch over the middle, only to get hit and separated from the ball with a brutal hit. A Star’s recovery would have sealed it, but Cartier was right there to recover the fumble and keep the drive alive! The ball was clocked with 2 seconds left to go and one last shot at the end zone. The crowd held their breath as Kenzi dropped back for one last shot and inexplicably Le Bord de Dieu missed a key block resulting in a Beth Taylor sack that ended yet another thrilling game!

VENUS FLYTRAP: Typical of Kenzi to get sacked at the worst possible time! Roxy played one of her best games, racking up 141 receiving yards in what should have been a sure win for us! Caity Dawson-Cruz said that she was a below average quarterback and she was 100% right! I don’t know what other evidence the team needs to get rid of her!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Below average is a hell of a stretch Venus! 2 touchdowns and a 110.9 quarterback rating is pretty darn good! Let’s not overlook the fact, that for all intents and purposes, it looks like Bordy actually cleared the way for Kenzi to take that final sack…a sack that left her looking a bit lame after the devastating hit. We haven’t heard any word on her status, though she did leave the field under her own power.

VENUS FLYTRAP: All that means to me is that Millie Mack needs to be ready to step up as the backup QB and take that position from Kenzi, once and for all! Hey, I aint rooting for anyone to get hurt, but if I had to pick someone…that’s my pick! Cincy fans probably owe Bordy a debt of gratitude!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: This is probably the worst thing that you have ever said and I am going on the record here to say that I do not agree with it…AT ALL! Even in a loss, Kenzi had a very good game and she protected the football for 60 minutes, keeping Cincy in the fight for the entire game. If anyone needs to be looked at, it’s Bordy for possibly intentionally missing an easy block that got our quarterback crushed!

VENUS FLYTRAP: Say what you want…that’s how I see it and I am sticking by my opinions on this one!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Regardless, Cincy is now once again in the basement of the division and though there is a lot more football left to play, the suspected injury to Kenzi may put them even further behind in a very tough division. Until next time, I am The Doctor…

VENUS FLYTRAP: …and I’m Venus…

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see you on the next Game Day when Cincy hosts the LA Blackout! See you then!
Apr 9 2018, 05:11 PM

The Doctor & Venus review game 1 of the LFL regular season between the Phoenix Burn and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: It was the first game of the regular season as Phoenix came to Cincy and the game was a stone cold barn burner! The first quarter was a back and forth battle that yielded no points for either team. The second quarter was dominated by the Burn as they went up 10 to nothing. The third quarter saw the Hit Girls buckle down on defense and Milisandre Crowthorne broke through the lines and ripped off a nearly 30 yard scamper to pull within 3 points. The fans were on their feet at the start of the forth as the offense was stopped by a fumble in Phoenix territory that was recovered by Sativa Nevaeh. Angie Vaughn came in and tied up the game with a 30+ yarder.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Yeah Doc! It looked like The Girls were gonna pull out another fourth quarter comeback, but The Burn buckled down on Defense and kept Cincy out of the scoring position. Late in the fourth, Phoenix went up on a 33 yard field goal with just over 4 minutes left to go. Cincy made a last ditch effort to close the gap, but fumbles and an interception put The Burn on the 5 yard line and Kaylen Burrows plowed into the end zone, putting the game out of reach.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: With that loss, Cincy finds themselves in the all too familiar position of being down in one of the toughest divisions in the LFL. That being said, there were a few bright spots. The offensive line did a good job of protecting the quarterback and holding the Phoenix to no sacks, though they did hurry Kenzi Lacklan in the pocket at critical moments.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Sidney Grey and Generic Heel may have fixed some things on offense, but until they find a way to put some points on the board, this seems like the same old Cincy to me! Kenzi may not be on her back as much, but she still needs to get the team into the end zone! If she can’t do that, this needs to be her LAST year in Cincy!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Well, this was only game 1 of 16 in the regular season Venus. Building a new franchise is not something that happens in a season or two. Sometimes staying the course is what gets you to where you need to go!

VENUS FLYTRAP: And sometimes firing people lightens the load and gets you to where you need to be quicker!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Alright! That will do it for this recap of Cincy’s lost to Phoenix. Game two takes place this Friday as The Hit Girls travel to LA to for a rematch of this season’s preseason game with The Stars. The Stars are riding high atop the division after a tough win last week and they will be looking to continue their winning ways over Cincy in regular season play.

VENUS FLYTRAP: The Stars are going to brimming with confidence and looking to erase the memory of their preseason loss. You said it before the season started that The Stars are the measuring stick for Cincy, so if they can’t get over that hurdle on Friday, that will certainly be telling for where this team REALLY is this season. I don’t want to say it’s a must win daddy; but this game is a MUST win in my eyes!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see what kind of adjustments our coach comes up with. Until then; I’m The Doctor…

VENUS FLYTRAP: …and I’m Venus…

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see you on Game Day!
Apr 9 2018, 04:59 PM
3/30/2018 GAME DAY RECAP

The Doctor & Venus review the LFL preseason game between the Los Angeles Stars and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Well guys, the first and last preseason game of 2018 is in the books and it saw yet another nail-biter between The Hit Girls and The Stars. Last season these teams met in 2 match ups and The Stars had our number on both occasions as they won both games by a margin of less than 7 points. People expected this game to go the same way, and it did not disappoint! This game, Cincy trailed until the last 2 minutes and 45 seconds of the 4th quarter.

VENUS FLYTRAP: I thought The Stars were gonna run away with another victory here Doc! The Stars put on a masterful ground attack that netted them a 14 to 3 point advantage going into the half. Kenzi Grey was struggling to find open receivers to get into the end zone. I don’t know what kind of pep talk they got in the locker room from their new coach, Generic Heel, but whatever it was Daddy, it couldn’t have come at a better time!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Cincy buckled down some tough running by Millisandre Crowthorne, who finally found the end zone on an 11 yard scamper after our ‘Defensive’ Center Cartier opened up a huge hole in the defense and sprung Crowthorne loose inside the red zone.

‘Defensive’ Center, huh? Well, all jokes aside, Cartier was head and NECK above the rest on the O-line as she laid 5 punishing pancake blocks to turn the tide. Apparently all that trash talk really had her fired up!

Cincy was behind and they were desperate. Generic Heel was quick to call for a 2-point conversion to try to close the 5 point lead by the Stars, but LA was ready for it and they stopped the attempt cold. The Hit Girls kept fighting and it didn’t seem like they would get another chance until late in the 4th quarter after key receptions by Trixie and Sativa Nevaeh put the Hit Girls on the 5 yard line. With just under 3 minutes to play, ‘The Clear Connection’ of Kenzi Grey and Roxu Cotton finally hit pay dirt with a touchdown that put The Hit Girls up by 1. Generic Heel rolled the dice a second time and the team responded as they converted a 2-point conversion to go up by 3 points with 2 minutes and 45 seconds left on the clock.

VENUS FLYTRAP: I can’t lie Doc, I saw this game being an L for The Hit Girls as The Stars started marching right back down the field. It looked like LA was going to make them pay for leaving so much time on the clock, but the game was put on ice with a very timely interception by Ashley Marie Chase to secure the preseason win at home!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: It was only preseason, so this game doesn’t count, but at least the team got to see where they were against a team that played them really tough last year in a pair of heartbreaking losses. Some quick takeaways for me; Kenzi was much more efficient this game, she protected the ball well and didn’t take a lot of chances. She hit all of her receivers, including the running back, only missing 8 tosses. Trixie showed why she was so highly sought after as she led all receivers with 93 yards off 6 catches. Finally, like I said before, Cartier was a bruiser on the line as she opened huge holes for the runners.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Fair enough on brown sugah, Ms. Cartier; that girl is built like a sexy Mack Truck…or maybe a sexy long neck giraffe! That being said, the OTHER one doesn’t get off that easy with me! Once again, I am not convinced that Kenzi is the answer for this team. Sure, she didn’t toss any picks and she had a very good passer rating, but if she wants to get this team anywhere near the playoffs…let alone out of the toilet of the division, she needs to score touchdowns and stop scrambling for negative yards! On to your point about Trixie; yes, she earned every penny of that restructured contract, but let’s not put her over the REAL star out there in receiving today, my Boo Roxy Cotton! She led all receivers in number of catches and she scored the touchdown that finally gave The Hit Girls the lead!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Fair enough Venus! I can’t argue the stats, but it was a team effort by all of the wideouts and the Offensive Player of the Game, Milisandre. Defensively, Coda led in tackles, with 7, while standout performances were put on by Le Bord de Dieu, with 2 tackles for losses and a sack and AMC with an interception to end it.

VENUS FLYTRAP: It was a great defensive performance by all of the ladies! I am going to single out Melissa Aki who played the game with a back injury she sustained last night in a wrestling match, and she still managed to turn in 5 tackles and 2 pancake blocks! Maki is a warrior!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I good game turned in by The Hit Girls, with only one minor glitch, and that came from Bordy as she picked up the only team penalty. I’m not sure if she doesn’t know the rules or she just doesn’t care, but that will need to be corrected before the season starts.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Coach Generic Heel didn’t seem to mind. Hell! I think he congratulated her on her ‘heel’ tactics on the field!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Why is that not surprising. Okay folks, that will do it for the Game Day recap! Join us next time when we preview game 1 of the new season.

Apr 8 2018, 09:34 AM

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