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May 19 2018, 01:12 PM
5/18/2018 GAME DAY RECAP

The Doctor & Venus review game 7 of the LFL regular season between the Atlanta ASSassins and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: The infamous crying woman of Cincinnati did not make an appearance for Game 7 of the LFL season as The Hit Girls put on a dominating performance in hostile conditions! The first three quarters were pretty much all Cincy as Kenzi Grey controlled the pace, throwing for over 400 yards as she hit Roxy Cotton and [/b]Coda[/b] in the end zone. Milisandre Crowthorne put on another great running performance as she scored on a dazzling 28 yard dash, and contributed to the team defense while picking up Defensive Player of the Game honors off a 2 sack and fumble recovery game. Angie Vaughn was also clutch as she was perfect in extra points and field goals!

VENUS FLYTRAP: It was a great performance, especially on defense. Cincy managed to control the pace of the game behind solid tackling all around with Crowthorne getting 2 sacks and Cartier and Bordy getting tackles behind the line. It was a great game, but let’s not lose sight of the fact that this was a win over another sub 500 team, so I wouldn’t start booking tickets to the playoffs anytime soon.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Well, that is a given Venus, but Rome wasn’t built in a day and I really think the team learned something about themselves on Game Day. Whenever you can come into a strange stadium and come away with a big win, you are on the right path, and apparently Coach Heel has them doing exactly what he wants them to do right now.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Well…I don’t think they are doing EXACTLY what he wants them to do, but as far as play on the field, yes…they are responding to his methods, right or wrong.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Well, that will all be put to the test next Game Day when The Hit Girls host The Pensacola Chaos, one of the newest LFL franchises. This is being looked at as somewhat of a revenge game as Delia Darling and Virginia Stone return to Cincy, looking to rub a bit of their new team’s success in their former teammate’s faces. The Chaos is coming off of a heartbreaking 1 point loss against Detroit, so nothing would make them feel better than to march into Cincinnati and get a road win to turn the tide in their division.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Hey! This is a big game for a member of our team as well! Sativa Nevaeh was traded to The Chaos from Sin City and then she was traded again when Wellington Leander IV brought over Darling. Nevaeh might have some incentive to show Leander that he made a mistake, you never know!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: There are certainly a lot of things to keep an eye on for the next Game Day, and we will be right here to recap all the action for you! Until next time, I am The Doctor…

VENUS FLYTRAP: …and I’m Venus…

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see you on the next Game Day!
May 14 2018, 08:40 PM
5/11/2018 GAME DAY RECAP

The Doctor & Venus review game 5 of the LFL regular season between the Baltimore Bombshells and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Game 6 is in the books and The Hit Girls picked up their first win of the season in a slugfest with Baltimore. The first quarter saw Angie Vaughn score the only points of the first quarter when she hit a 47 yarder at the 6:58 minute mark, tying her career long. Angie hit a 28 yard kick in the second quarter and Baltimore answered as the two teams went into halftime.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Honestly, I was bored to tears with this game in the first half! No disrespect, but 3 field goals wasn't doing it for me at all! I had hoped that the two teams would get pumped up in the locker room, but to be was WORSE! There wasn't a single score in the third quarter!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: That's true. There was nothing for either team to get excited about, except perhaps their defense. Things picked up in the fourth as Baltimore tied it up with another field goal. Cincy finally went to work and Sativa Nevaeh caught a tough 14 yard pass and banged her way into the end zone for the game's first touchdown!

VENUS FLYTRAP: That should have been enough to ice this game, but Baltimore showed their toughness as they battled back tied up the game with less than two minutes to go.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: This game went to overtime and momentum seems to be against The Hit Girls, but after getting the ball, Kenzi Grey-Lacklan controlled the tempo of the game and Cincy marched down the field on the strength of tough running from Milisandre Crowthorne, who racked up 107 yards on the ground, and several clutch catches from Trixie as she pocketed 122 yards.

VENUS FLYTRAP: The game got put away as the best clutch receiver in the league, Roxy Cotton made a sensational leaping grab from 9 yards out to finally get Cincy that elusive first win!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Venus, it started off rough, but the team finished strong! Some other game notes; Trixie and Roxy both took home player of the game honors for their performances. Melissa Aki racked up 3 costly penalties for 25 yards and Cartier was right behind her with 2 for 8 yards. I would also be remiss not to mention Ashley Marie Chase getting a personal foul for 15 yards.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Look Doc, Cincy is frustrated and that played out for Maki, Cartier, and AMC with a little bit of laundry being thrown at them. To be honest, I am willing to take a few penalties to get a matter what it takes! That's what Coach Heel preaches and it worked this game! Well...that or the promise of free lap dances!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I'm going to go with NO! But, a win is a win I guess. Join us next week when Cincy travels to The ATL to take on the ASSassins. Until next time, I am The Doctor…

VENUS FLYTRAP: …and I’m Venus…

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see you on the next Game Day!
May 6 2018, 04:21 PM

The Doctor & Venus review game 5 of the LFL regular season between the Denver Divas and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Game 5 of the season has come and gone, and unfortunately the Girls are still left looking for that first win of the season. This game got underway with Kenzi Grey hitting Roxy Cotton from one yard out for the game’s first score. Denver answered later in the first quarter to tie things up. The second half saw Denver pull away on the strength of two touchdowns and a field goal. Angie Vaughn put up three points for Cincy in the second, but a pair of interceptions doomed any other scoring attempts. Both teams traded touchdowns in the third and fourth quarter, with Sativa Nevaeh catching a four yard pass for the final score of the game.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Not at all the game that the Hit Girls were hoping for, but it was typical. Kenzi was hurried in the pocket and made two bad passes that led to momentum for Denver that was tough to overcome.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: On a positive note, Cincy continued to go after the ball, forcing two fumbles, with Angie and Kenzi knocking it loose and Melissa Aki getting a recovery under her belt.

VENUS FLYTRAP: This game boiled down to the offense being shut down. The receivers were mostly held in check…with the exception of Roxy, who is damn near unstoppable!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I would love to know what Roxy Cotton is giving you to say this stuff about her every week! You’re bias, and it is apparent to everyone!

VENUS FLYTRAP: Any way! Milisandre Crowthorne was held to 68 yards and kept out of the end zone, adding to the obstacles that Cincy faced.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Venus, what did you hear about Coach Heel’s newest scheme to get the girls to play better? Rumor has it that he had a cardboard cutout of himself in the locker room and for every game Cincy won, they would get to remove an article of clothing.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Look Doc, all I know is that was terrible idea! What I heard was the girls were looking to not win another game so long as that cutout was in the locker room! Now, I for one don’t believe that they would want to lose every game…but they are pretty adamant about NOT seeing Coach Heel naked in any shape, form, or fashion!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I guess we will have to see what’s next then. Join us next week when Cincy travels to Baltimore. Until next time, I am The Doctor…

VENUS FLYTRAP: …and I’m Venus…

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see you on the next Game Day!
Apr 29 2018, 09:58 AM
4/27/2018 GAME DAY RECAP

The Doctor & Venus review game 4 of the LFL regular season between the Honolulu Havok and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Game 4 is in the books and the Hit Girls have a perfect record! Unfortunately, that perfection is spelled in losses. Cincy traveled to the paradise of Hawaii to take on the 1 and 3 Havok in a divisional match up.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Look, I know everyone is expecting me to come out and run down Kenzi Grey, and I probably will do that later on, but the fact of the matter is that she had a decent game. That being said, go ahead and break it down for us Doc.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: The Hit Girls jumped out to an early 10 to zip lead on the strength of a 38 yard field goal by Angie Vaughn, followed by a touch pass to Roxy Cotton from 4 yards out. The Defense fustrated the Havok during the first quarter, but they got it together quickly in the second quarter.

The Havok hit two quick touchdowns, including an 80 yard bomb that put them ahead. The half ended as Angie added 3 more points to pull within a point.

The third quarter saw the Havok bookend another field goal from Angie with two long touchdown strikes that pushed them to a 28 to 16 lead.

The Hit Girls attempted a rally in the fourth quarter after another field goal from Angie and a 45 yard pass for a touchdown by the Havok. Milisandre Crowthorne bulled her way into the end zone to pull within 10 points. At the 3:41 mark Kenzi again hit her favorite target, Roxy from 8 yards out to pull within 3 points. Tough defense by the likes of Melissa Aki and Le Bord de Dieu who picked up critical sacks push this game to the wire. A last minute interception by Coda gave the Hit Girls one last chance, but the Havok buckled down and a final interception by the Havok ended it.

All in all, a very entertaining game, and one that was lost again by a single score. With the exception of last week, that has been 3 very winnable games for Cincy, but still nothing has materialized for them on the field of play.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Well, it’s obvious to me that management is NOT going to release Kenzi, so there is no need in my calling for it anymore. That being said, as I mentioned earlier, this was much sharper play from her as she threw for 377 yards and two touchdowns. Unfortunately, there were also two critical interceptions to go with that.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: With the exception of the first quarter, the Hit Girls were forced to play from behind and that meant a lot more passes had to be thrown. The real story of this game is the defense by Cincy. The defense held them to just 4 first downs and only allowed them to convert one third down for the entire game, yet they gave up 469 yards.

VENUS FLYTRAP: The Havok was dropping bombs all over the place and that was the difference maker in Game 4! Playing well on the offense doesn’t count for anything if you can’t play just as well on the defense.

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: It looks like Coach Heel’s cheerleader uniform change policy might have given the Hit Girls some incentive, but not quite enough.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Yeah, who would have thought that wearing no panties could be so inspiring! I know I was!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will have to see what they come up with next. Join us next week when Cincy hosts the Denver Divas. Until next time, I am The Doctor…

VENUS FLYTRAP: …and I’m Venus…

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see you on the next Game Day!
Apr 22 2018, 08:31 AM
4/20/2018 GAME DAY RECAP

The Doctor & Venus review game 3 of the LFL regular season between the Los Angeles Blackout and The Cincinnati Hit Girls


“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Game 3 has come and gone and unfortunately this one was nothing at all to write home about. This was a 35 point blowout with Angie Vaughn and Milisandre Crowthorne bookending the only points that would be scored by the Hit Girls. Angie put up 3 in the first quarter and Mili broke loose for a 5 yard touchdown to show a bit of effort at the end on the offense.

VENUS FLYTRAP: I have been saying this since last season…FIRE KENZI GREY! No matter which way you slice it up jack, this is all on her shoulders! Everybody knew she got hurt at the end of the last game and everybody knew she shouldn’t have played, yet SOME HOW she managed to get herself cleared, just so she could toss two interceptions and scramble for -22 yards! The General Manager, Sidney Grey talked about benching her before the game, but apparently Kenzi can just decide she’s not leaving the game!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I don’t think that is the case at all Venus. Kenzi got cleared by the LFL to play and she had a bad game. It wasn’t the only bad game that was played on Friday, but yes, it was one of the most glaring. Maybe instead of focusing on what Kenzi did wrong, we should focus on what she did right? She showed heart by staying in the game and leading the team through all 4 quarters when she could have just quit.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Correction; SHOULD have just quit! Let’s not beat around the damn bush here, the only reason she still has the starting position on this team is because she is married to the majority owner, which means we are stuck with her because any other team would have cut her months ago!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: I know that you and the rest of the Cincy fans are upset with the fact that this team that has so much talent is just not winning, but the fact of the matter is that it takes time to figure this game out. Many of these players still don’t have a grasp on all the rules. Look no further than the mounting penalties that the girls have collected over the past 3 games. It’s clear that Kenzi isn’t the only issue here.

VENUS FLYTRAP: Penalties! Yeah, let’s talk about that! Last week we got screwed at the end of the game by a phantom penalty that was called on Roxy Cotton, hashtag the best damn wide receiver in the LFL! In this game, she comes out and has to play soft because the referees are all over her like a cheap suit! Our leading receiver can’t be getting handcuffed like that!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Roxy’s penalty was justified and she was fined for it, so let’s not revisit that again. Yes, Roxy was forced to play soft this game for fear of another penalty that might cost her a suspension, but she is going to have to just play her game, while being careful and staying within the rules.

VENUS FLYTRAP: NO! Roxy needs be Roxy and the referees need to save the laundry for their wives! People are paying to see the girls out there on the field playing hard, not flags being thrown left and right for 60 minutes!

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: Everyone is entitled to an opinion I guess. With that, Cincy falls even further behind in the division with a trip to Hawaii looming. Until next time, I am The Doctor…

VENUS FLYTRAP: …and I’m Venus…

“DOCTOR” JOHNNY FEVER: We will see you on the next Game Day when Cincy visits the Havok! See you then!
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